I think there’s something about Woking that makes me want to write. Being back in the old steps, excitement existing as days and nights out, a refreshment from the familiar walls of my halls of residence room that makes me want … to write.
It only dawned on me recently how my life could be deemed similar to the lives we want to lead, certainly I always wanted to lead throughout my teens. The photos blogged with the smoke rings and hazy disposable cameras, the song lyrics about staying up til sunrise talking, the strange Skins parties; meeting and even being the people and experiencing the glamour of being cool and envied. My friends blow smoke rings and use disposable cameras. I go to festivals and dance on tables. I stay up by candlelight drinking wine discussing opera and literature. When did I turn in to the people I wanted to be for so long?
Maybe it’s just growing up. On my recent holiday to Turkey with my boyfriend Andy, I realised how much I’d grown up. I worried whether he had enough suntan lotion on, I wasn’t too fussed about getting a tan because I’m concerned about skin cancer, I tutted at the noisy British men singing the ‘Ooh Ahh’ song in the middle of the day, I made sure the room was clean for the maids … even though they’re coming in to clean it. I really am turning into my Mother, maybe it’s just another inevitable part of growing up.
So maybe having spent a year away from Woking, a year living alone with many ups and downs that has blossomed closer relationships with my boyfriend, my parents and my friends has forced me to grow up. I believe that life is what you make it. If you don’t like something, change it … everybody has that power. I think I’ve just realised that in order to be the person and live the life I dreamed of living throughout my teens, I had to give it a go. Completely subconscious even, but I’m absolutely loving it.
So I’m back. I’m hoping at least for summer. Working full time in London as my summer job has provided me with so much writing inspiration my brain and notepad are exploding. And here is the perfect place to share those thoughts. See you soon!