These past few nights have been ridiculously hot. So hot, I’ve taken to sleeping downstairs in our back sun room/conservatory sort of area. However, come 4am I’m woken by the natural light streaming through the windows, meaning I have to trudge back upstairs to my bed, duvet and pillow in tow. Not the most settling of night’s sleeps. Nevertheless, lying on our cool leather sofa enables me to stare up through our roof windows and look at the sky. The other night I noticed something I haven’t noticed for a long time, stars.
Beautiful. The only time of the year I generally see and notice stars is when I’m camping or travelling. Living in a huge town means hench light pollution, the awful orange haze above our homes … and no stars. But last night I saw them. It made me realise that in the grand scheme of things, I truly am insignificant. I’ve been so wrapped up in myself, my life, my exams these past few weeks that I’ve forgotten everything true, real and important to me. I’m so small, so small in relation to this incredible universe. While I’ve been revising, people have been starving and dying. I’m actually quite ashamed of myself. During exams my Amnesty International magazines have been thrust under my bed without a second look, and I’ve haven’t Facebooked my Thailand girls in a long time.
I’d forgotten everything important to me. I’d lost perspective on my life and the lives of those around me. Who cares if I don’t get to Uni? Obviously it would be hugely disappointing, but there are so many people that need me, would love to see me again. I miss my babies in the Thailand Orphanage, I miss the girls from Kenya and the guy that tried to marry me (that’s another blog!). I miss being that person who loves helping people and didn’t go out for 4 months to save enough money to fly to Chiang Rai, a city no ones ever heard of in North Thailand! I miss all the people I’ve helped. It might sound ridiculous but seeing those stars just made it all come flooding back to me. Whilst focusing on exams is important and necessary, I’d forgotten the most important and necessary things in my life, my experiences, my dreams, my travels.
So welcome back Annabel! I have just 3 days, 3 days left of this Exam business before getting back to the girl I truly know I am! And it’s gonna be good.
These are the most incredible women I have ever had the honor of knowing. Kenya 2009, these women prepared all our food for us from absolute scratch, giving us feasts every single day whilst they have nothing, constantly smiling, singing and dancing, radiating life and love.