Yesterday I did a bizarre thing, even for me.  I stepped on the scales.  After a period of weighing myself once a week for about 3 years and having the standard mid teenage year’s food demons, about 6 months ago I decided I didn’t care anymore and stopped.  I’m still trying to decide how I feel about what happened.  I was the heaviest I’ve ever been, I am the heaviest I’ve ever been.  I didn’t ‘let myself go’ as such, I just realised that during A Levels, an awful lot of food as revision tools is necessary to see me through.  I’m not fat, I know I’m not fat, the same clothes fit me as they did 6 months ago when I was half a stone lighter and I still feel absolutely fine and confident wearing little shorts and tight tops out in public (just not at the same time).  It’s occurred to me that as well as my body having changed, maybe I’ve changed.  A year ago I would have totally freaked out.  I know immediately it would have been salads and sit ups until I achieved a ‘goal weight’ or an appearance I felt happy with.  But now, I’m absolutely fine.  I finally feel comfortable in my own skin after 3 years of wanting to be better, never being satisfied with the way I am.  Today, I am satisfied.   This is probably one of the most intimate things I have blogged about, without even getting that intimate.  Weight is one of the topics that no matter who you are, what you do, is guaranteed to play on your mind at some point during your life.  Weight playing on my mind is over.  I’m fine.  I feel so fine.  Perhaps in a few months, or a few years I might decide I want to be thinner or more toned, but today, I’m fine.  The next time I decide to change my body it will be for my benefit and nobody else’s.  So today I blog with the knowledge of being happy in myself, my body and who I am.  It’s such an empowering feeling, you should try it.


One thought on “Empowered

  1. V ery proud of my daughter – how sensible and mature you are gorgeous – what a fantastic approach to have, so much more to life than worrying about the way we look.
    Love you xx

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