Yesterday gave way to a lunch time on the field with two of my good friends Mark and Laura. Whilst chowing down our korma pasta in the not so bright sunshine, we observed a plethora of the male species kicking around footballs and rugby balls, generally being boys. Having not so much to say, observing turned into viewing, which turned into scrutinising.
Never before have I noticed the grunts, the humphs, the running, the ‘Alright mate’s. Granted, it was a testosterone frenzy with each animal guzzling hormones off the next, possibly accentuating the behavior, but it was nevertheless extremely fascinating.
So came the question: ‘What would you do if you had 24 hours as a boy?’. Mark kept rather quiet during Laura and I’s discussion. We came to the conclusion that we would definitely make priorities of going to the bathroom, drinking and generally using our swords as much as possible.
Using the loo would be a different experience altogether. Other than festivals and forest adventures, us girls have little need to urinate standing up. Yes the ‘SheWee’s are in their hay day but we’d rather have an excuse other than conformism to chill out against a wall for 20 seconds. Now drinking would be interesting, with most girls getting at least tipsy after a couple of glasses of their chosen tipple, to be able to withstand extreme units and not feel the usual accompaniment to alcohol would be a wondrous, if not quite expensive affair. Now I’m not one to be crude, at least not in the blogging world, so take what you will from our final choice.
Beyonce was right to an extent. Sure the chasing after girls and turning your phone off part sounds alright, but wearing anything and your guys sticking up for you, whatever you do? Not so much. Perhaps it’s just Godalming but even for a kick around the guys were pretty well attired. And as for cheating on a girlfriend? Many guys would of course, but just as many would refrain – and tell a girlfriend if their mates were.
So there you go, a maelstrom of grunts, showing off and generally being guys as we known and love them. If I Were A Boy. What would you do?!